My heart (:

The heart I talked about.

Uma publicação em português é algo raríssimo neste blog, mas esta vai ser por causa do conteúdo.
Queria publicar aqui um texto, mais pelo seu conteúdo que outra coisa qualquer, e gostava de saber a vossa opinião, por isso, se lerem o texto, enviem um feedback para o meu email bcmv.nkc@gmail.com.

"Oh pá, correu muito mal com ele, mas aprendi muita merda com isto, nomeadamente que sou muito mais corajosa do que achava. Depois também me apercebi de que podia ter feito muita cena diferente, mas aprendi bué com a asneirada que fiz. Se valeu a pena? Até valeu, porque agora, pelo menos, ainda me rio das minhas figuras e ainda me consigo de lembrar de cenas dele fofas e alguns momentos espetaculares, e, por muito que eu esteja em baixo por causa dele, há uma parte de mim que está contente, porque o que eu fiz deixou-me muito contente na altura. E oh pá, se não tentas nunca sabes, porque mesmo que corra mal vai haver sempre uma cena qualquer que te vai fazer rir ou até te põe com a lágrima no canto do olho. Mas garanto-te que aprendes muito sobre ti própria."

For the boys:

This goes for you boys, because I know you suffer, and you need support, and sometimes, you don't get all the support you need.

Eddie :3

I know the picture is huge, but seriously. This quote is great. Eddie is great, he's such an inspiration to me.

Good night everyone... Although today is my bff's birthday, I don't feel very happy... In fact, I feel pretty bad.
And well, as you probably have noticed St. Valetine's Day is coming, and in my school, the languages teachers decided to do an activity for that day, that consists in a wall covered in hearts, with sentences or poems or song lyrics written on them, about, of course, love. The teacher proposed us to write something that she would correct and then you had to write it in the heart at home.
Well, as I said before, I love writing, but seriously, not about love, and not now. So I just decided to pick up a song lyrics, and I chose one of my favourite songs ever: "Black" by Pearl Jam, and I chose this part "I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun in somebody else's life, but why can't it be mine?".
The reason why I chose it? Because this song means the world to me, and now, more than never, I feel the lyrics (although it is because of a "he" and not a "she"). And when Eddie sings this part, man, it breaks my heart...
Whatever. The teacher seemed to like it, and when I have the final result, I'll make sure I let you guys know of it :)

"But I feel fat". Oh God, I feel so fat. I hate what I see when I look at the mirror. It's all fat. My legs, my belly, my arms. Everything. Why do I have to be this ugly and fat?

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm not like her. I'm sorry, I really am. I know I'm not the kind of girl a guy wants, and you're not an exception.

My master piece. ahah <3 <3

Questionary (part 2)

Hey :) So, let's go on with the questionary.

Q: Do you believe people deserve second chances?
A: I do, I think when someone regrets something always deserves a second chance.

Now, about my preference in boyfriend:

Q: Long hair or short hair?
A: Hummm... Long hair...

Q: Nice smile or nice abs?
A: Both if possible ahah

Q: Shy or open?
A: Shy... I find shy guys really cute...

Q: Eyes or body?
A: Humm... I'm going to be honest... Both...

Q: Religious or non-religious?
A: Religious.

Q: Piercings or no-piercings?
A: It depends.

Q: Tattoos or no-tattoos?
A: It depends on the tattoos.

Q: Quiet stay-at-home or party type?
A: Definitely quiet stay-at-home.

Q: Would you smoke weed?
A: Yes.

Q: Would you forgive a boyfriend that deeply hurt you?
A: Yes.

Q: Would you join a band as a part time activity?
A: Absolutely!

Q: Would you stand up for your beliefs if someone is strongly agains them?
A: I would, and I do it.

Q: Would you starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?
A: Yes, and I do it.

Q: Would you sleep naked?
A: No.

Which one do you prefer?

Q: Metalcore or Post-Hardcore?
A: Metalcore.

Q: Tumblr or friends?
A: Tumblr, of course.

Q: Old bands or new bands?
A: Old school ahah

Q: Pop-punk or Alternative Rock?
A: Alternative Rock (Pop-punk? What's that shit?)

Q: Chelsea Grin or Suicide Silence?
A: Suicide Silence <3

Q: Would you rather be the opposite sex?
A: Yeah.

Q: What will you name your daughter/son?
A: Oh God... I don't know... Daughter: Rita or Benedita. Son: André or João Pedro.

Done!!!

Questionary

Hello. I was asked to answer to loads of questions, taken from Tumblr, I guess. The girl selected the ones she wanted me to answer, and yeah, loads of questions. But I'll answer them all, perhaps not today, but in the next days, I promise :)

Q: Have you ever been too depressed to move out of your bed?
A: In fact, yes. One day, I had to pretend I was really ill, to provoque vomit as well, because I was far too depressed to move, or to think. I spent all most all day sleeping and crying, because I was in pain, but a psycological one...

Q: Have you ever tried to commit suicide?
A: What I tell everyone: no. Reality: Yeah, I tried it twice. But I wasn't even close to achieve it.

Q: Have you ever watched an entired season of a show in one sitting?
A: No, not really ahah I've never felt obsessed with a show, I never really enjoyed watching TV

Q: Have you ever gotten drunk or high?
A: Nop.

Q: Have you ever been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?
A: Sadly, no. As you probably know, Nirvana is my favourite band, and as they don't exist any longer, I have no chance to see them live... However, I still dream about seeing Eddie Vedder alone or with Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chili Peppers live. And this May, I'll see Iron Maiden yey yey!!!!!!

Q: Right now, do you feel depressed?
A: In fact, I do, and a lot. I'm really strunggling to deal with my life.

Q: Right now, are you avoid someone?
A: I am. Remember I talked about my crush, starts with an "M"? Yeah, shit happened.

Q: Do you get depressed easily?
A: It depends from the point of view.

Q: Do you get jealous easily?
A: No, not really... I almost never feel jealous or envy about things.

I guess it's all for today... See you tomorrow :)

You know? I'm tired of this shit. Really tired.

Some pictures that describes what's going on inside of me:

These people give me strenght every day...

      
This lovely sir is my biggest inspiration :) Kurt Cobain <3 <3 RIP
We miss your gorgeous smile, your beautiful blue eyes, your raspy voice...

   
Courtney Love, this amazing singer that inspires me a lot as a human being :)

  
John Frusciante <3 amazing guitarist, amazing singer, amazing composer, amazing person.

 
Eddie fn' Vedder <3 <3 This sexy man hehe Apart he's gorgeous (in the 90's, man kill me, he was HOT), he's also extremely talented *.*

Well, first of all, good afternoon everyone. I had such an awful night yesterday that I can't even think clear. My head hurts, my body hurts, and my soul hurts.
I'm so stupid. How could I ever think he would be even insterested in talking to me? Well, I guess I'm just meant to be alone.
I'm sick of this stupid society.
As I don't have any better idea, I'll do a post with a picture of some people that I admire.

Look at this for some time. What do you feel?

No one really knows it.

This is something I don't allow anyone to do. In front of me, you don't joke or judge cutting.

"Three words: I love you"

Love you too Eddie :')

Gorgeous.

This is one of the hardest parts for me. I'm so fucked up, and I still have to go to school and pretend everything is alright, and smile.

This is for you, boys.

I just want you all to know that I'm always here to talk.

I do this, like everytime I look at the mirror.

This breaks my heart. How is it possible that people are insentive at this point? They don't really get the suffering and the struggling of a suicidal or a cutter, or whatever. "Weak, selfish, annoying, stupid, freaks" are those ones that can't understand how much it kills us inside.

Hey there. Today I feel so depressed, I don't remember such a bad day in years. I'm just sick and tired of everything. I don't know how to go on.
About the blog, today I guess I'll just post some pictures, small reflexions and songs.