I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do. I'm just tired of everything. I say this a milion of times, but I really feel that way. I hate people, world. People, world, hate me. Period. Am I the on who misunderstood something? Maybe, but maybe the other people also misunderstood me. At least, do they imagine (imagine, it is what I'm asking for!) what I feel? I'm not the only person in the world with problems, I know! But please, that doesn't explain rhe way people act. And I can't avoid the hate and disgust I feel of people. It's my fault that everything is a mess. It's my fault that I have a few (I won't say how many they are, because it is such a little group that you would be impressed) friends? I know it is. All because I'm a dumb, stupid, suicidal girl. Hope, you are the only one that understands me 100% (imagining you are gonna read this). World judges me for my suicidal tendences. Yes, I tried suicide 3 times. And why? Because the ones that could help are as blind as the desk I'm using right now (silly, I know). They don't understand the signs,. I warned everytime, people think I say things just because I want. No, I say things because I warn people about what I do. When I tried suicide last time, I told people, but they don't seem to understand. They ignore. I feel so alone, so broken. I'm tired of hiding myself. But what the fuck should I do? Scream around there "Hey, I'm a junky, I have already tried suicide 3 times and I have a gun hidden in my room!". No, fuck. Why to do so much sacrifice, if I can end up and give up of everything with a gun shoot, or cutting my rist, or jumping-off of a window? Addiction is driving me crazy. I don't want it, but it is so cloose, in my mind it says "Oh, it is so near...", how can I resist? Besides that, I see people, death people, my grandfather, my death friends, they talk to me. They say I'm crazy. They warn me, they tell me I'll die soon. Oh God, please, take me outta here! Forgive me about my ungratithude., my dumbness, I know I'm fool, I'm wrong, but what should I do? Let me do it, please. Give me the last chance. This time, it won't be a frustrated try. It will be the end. I do my part. Goodbye to everyone. Sorry to those ones that really cared about me. You (my true real dear friends) know I love you. You are probably the most important thing I have in my life. I'm so sorry dissapoint you. I never wanted to show how week and fragile I am. This is all my fault. And I'm deeply conviced that your life (everyone's life) will be much better without me. I'm so sorry for the pain I caused you in life. Sorry for the tears, dissappointment, sufering. I'm deeply sorry. You can't imagine how much I regret it. I'll leave now, with heavy conscious. Don't push yourselfs to hard. It is just my fault, not anyone else's. It is a personal decision, I'll do it for myself, and for the rest of the world. Believe it or not, you are gonna start to realize how much better is your life without my fake smile, my fake speechs, my bitchy face. Think about it, you are gonna be surprised. And remember, self-destruction is a long road that ends up with despair, emptiness, fear and anger. "It is better to burn out than to fade away" (Kurt Cobain <3)
Hope, love you, and you know how important you're to me. My life wouldn't be the same if I didn't meet you, probably I had do it before. Thanks for your support, for making me smile, laugh, for making me happy, for your chats about those people you know (ma....).
For the people who cared about me: I'm so sorry for this, thanks so mcuh for everything, but it wasn't enough.
For the rest of the world: Nice to meet you all. See a in hell.
Post-scriptum: this, I wrote it last wednesday, when I cuted my rist, that way I could comit suicide. This was my suicide note.