Today, I slept 3 hours, because I've been thinking about life. I'm afraid of being selfish when I think I'm full of problems. Being selfish when I think suicide is the only way to go away. All the love I feel about people is just unnecessary, but what will I do to all the love? I've lost the love for myself a long time ago. I lost all the love and joy and respect of living a long time ago. Does it makes me a bad person? I have no expectation about the future, sure it will be worse than the present. Why to have dreams if they never come true? I have a list of 20 wishes, and just 3 came true! Kinda frustrating... My 2011´s new year resolutions were about 25, and 5 came true... I give up believing that my dreams may come true... I realize that there are much important things than my silly dreams: the few friendship I have. It is probably the only things that makes my heart beat. If I didn't have an awesome family and a few but awesome friends, why should I be here? I have so much to give, but I don't know do I have to give, and what to guard with myself.